


Away

by Suzariah



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence, Castiel leaves the bunker, M/M, Oneshot, Season 8, Season/Series 08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27850434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suzariah/pseuds/Suzariah
Summary: (Set in Season 8)Castiel leaves the bunker. Sam goes after him.
Relationships: Castiel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 50





	Away

**Author's Note:**

> I am in the process of moving over lots of old fic to ao3, this is a work I wrote in 2013 for Sastiel Week! It's set right after Dean tells Cas to leave the bunker. Enjoy!

It’s been three months since Castiel left and Sam’s had enough.

The secrecy, whatever Dean’s hiding, the apologetic calls that Sam overhears at night.

Also, the fact Dean won’t let him do squat. He feels fine, Dean’s constant excuses of worry have reached the point of stupidity. There’s something he’s hiding and Sam won’t stand for it anymore.

First things first, he’s gonna find Cas and ask him why the hell he left. He’s starting to suspect Cas didn’t want to leave. That’s how it seemed when they first brought him to the bunker. Cas had that small, hopeful smile on his face. He had every intention of staying then, Sam can’t figure out what happened in the span of a minute to change that.

Sam leaves at night, when Dean’s asleep and Kevin nowhere to be found. He borrows one of the bunker’s motorcycles on impulse, and can’t help but grin as he fits the old helmet on and turns the ignition. The bike isn’t the fastest or the most comfortable to drive, but it’s freeing. It reminds him of his drive to Stanford. The familiar feeling that invisible chains had been cut. It’s not exactly the same, Sam has every intention of returning once he has answers, but the pressure around his lungs and muddling his head is gone.

He has Castiel’s new number from Dean’s phone. At least, he’s pretty sure it’s Cas’s. Who else would it be?

Sam has yet to call it, but he tracks it all the way to a gas station. Except it’s five in the morning and the signal is coming from inside the building.

He stares at his own cell phone for a moment; it’s been a while since he spoke to Cas. Their shy friendship hasn’t been at its strongest in these past few years, the last time Sam got to truly sit down and talk with Cas was when he took his Hell memories away.

He misses Cas, if he’s being honest with himself. They’ve been so busy on hunting that Sam sometimes forgets what’s missing from their lives. It’s so obvious now, the empty room in the bunker, the extra space in the backseat of the Impala; these things bother him because they’re places that belong to Castiel. Places where he should be.

Before he realizes, he’s dialing and it rings. It rings, and Sam can hear the phone from outside the gas station. Maybe Cas or whoever Dean’s been talking to lost it here.

“Hello?” A raspy voices answers on the last ring. “Dean?”

“No, Cas. It’s Sam.”

There’s a long pause, most likely Cas waking up. Cas sleeps now, Sam remembers. Sleeps, eats, the whole human experience. “Sam? You alright?”

“Just fine, Cas.” Sam sighs, he’s been asked that question way too many times in the past few weeks. Still, he can’t help but smile at the sound of his voice. “It’s good to hear from you.”

“You as well. How’d you get this number?”

“Stole it off of Dean.”

Castiel laughs, a brief, deep chuckle that Sam’s never heard before. “So…what are you doing at a gas station this early in the morning?”

“Uhh…” There’s shuffling in the background. “How do you know that, Sam?”

“Because I’m standing outside of it. I might have tracked your phone,” Sam replies sheepishly.

The lights inside flicker on and Castiel is there, standing just inside, an angel blade in one hand and the other holding a phone to his ear. His hair is sticking up in all directions, his eyes dark with sleep. His striped shirt is all wrinkled and his shoulders are hung forward. He’s never looked more human in that moment.

“I see.”

“Yeah…sorry.”

Castiel’s lips quirk up. “No apologies necessary.”

He unlocks the door and steps outside. Eyes glancing at Sam from head to toe, inspecting him. “You seem…well,” he says after a moment, putting away his phone.

Sam combs a hand through his hair. “Thanks” He spares a glance to the gas station and Castiel’s appearance. For some reason, this is where he’s staying, instead of at the bunker with his family.

“Why you here, Cas? Why’d you leave?” Sam asks, jumping right to the point. As much as he’d love to catch up, he wants to know what’s going on.

“You don’t…” Castiel pauses, anger worming its way onto his face. “Maybe you should ask your brother that question.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Dean wants you there as much as I do!”

“Considering he’s the one who asked me to leave, I don’t think he does, Sam.”

“He what?”

Rage boils under his skin. Dean’s been lying to him, again.

“He asked me to leave.”

“Why?”

Castiel shrugs. “He wouldn’t say.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Sam shouts, pulling at his hair. What’s Dean hiding this time? Some big apocalyptic secret? Or is it over his own well being again…that would explain Dean’s paranoid worrying. Constantly telling Sam to take it easy, he knows something. “I’m sorry, Cas…this is…this is my fault. If it weren’t for-”

Cas’s hands ball into fists, nostrils flaring. “No, it’s not Sam. What Dean chooses to keep from you is not your fault.”

“But you’re fucking living at a gas station Cas! And if I… You shouldn’t have to when you got a perfectly good room for you back at the bunker.”

“I work here,” Castiel says, like that makes a difference.

“So? You shouldn’t…” Sam closes his eyes. There’s a sudden tension in the air. The feeling is familiar, and it startles him. “You have a perfectly good place to come home to.”

Castiel smiles sadly, his face gone soft and emotional as their eyes lock. Cas has always been good at that, staring into your soul and making you stare back. Even as a human, Sam is glad to see that hasn’t changed.

What Sam doesn’t expect is Castiel’s gentle touch to accompany the look. Hesitantly, one of Cas’s hands reach up to cup Sam’s face in comfort. He doesn’t pull away. “Alright. So when that home is ready for me, I’ll come home.”

Sam frowns, leaning into his touch. He wants to say now, but who knows what will happen when he gets back. Maybe he’ll blow up on Dean about all the lies, make him either confess or bring Castiel home, or maybe there will be nothing. No words exchanged, like this never happened. Let whatever Dean’s dealing with pass.

The latter is unbearable to think about, he can’t just standby while Cas is here, barely scraping by.

Castiel sees the frustration in Sam’s gaze, he removes his hand so he can bring Sam into a loose embrace. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, Sam. I deserve far worse.”

“That’s not true,” Sam replies immediately, leaning his head against Castiel’s. “You’ve always had good intentions.”

“So have you.” Castiel’s smile is sad. Sam’s hands tentatively reach Cas’s face. They’ve never been quite like this before, but it’s so…natural. Like they’ve always been doing this and Sam craves the calm feeling that Castiel’s touch brings him.

“You deserve better than this, Cas.” Sam leans his forehead against Castiel’s, tangling their hands together.

Cas nods, resigned. He disagrees and Sam’s not sure he can ever convince Cas that he’s good enough to deserve more.

At least, if nothing else, he can offer to be his friend, or whatever they are. There’s a feeling humming under his skin, one that’s always been there but he’s never acknowledged. Cas’s hands have brought it out, and now he wants to answer it.

They’re so close that Sam can feel Cas’s breath on his lips, the beat of his heart under their hands. He doesn’t think about it, they’ve done too much thinking, so he just gives Cas a quick, small kiss on the lips.

Castiel looks surprised, but breaks out in a pleased grin.

Sam returns it, places a hand at Cas’s shoulder.

His eyes catch the motorcycle, so he asks, “Want to go for a ride?”

Cas nods, accepting the offer.

It’s a tight fit with two grown men, but they manage it. Sam briefly worries the bike will crumble under their combined weight, but it holds steady.

“Where to?”

“Anywhere.”

Cas’s hands come around Sam’s waist and hold tightly. It’s strange, knowing Cas can no longer zap wherever he wants to. It’s a bittersweet feeling knowing that Cas is no longer an angel, but at least he can’t leave at any moment without saying goodbye now.

They drive anywhere, as Cas asked. They visit a diner and have breakfast, visit the center of town, breach out to the edges where trees huddle closer and closer to the roads.

They don’t speak during the ride, but Sam can feel Cas’s smile on his back and for now, it’s enough.


End file.
